#Mention to past bad first time

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Winter Sounds — Campbell Bain x Reader

*This chapter has words with slashes. This is means you use the word that applies to where you live. Like GED in America means "General Educational Development Test" while there is no U.K. Equivalent (based off a thirty-second Google search) but I found A-Levels which is what Rose Tyler refers to when talking about school in the revival Pilot so... this is how I learn about things, I pick up what I've heard in TV shows. Obviously there are other countries but I’ve never heard of any other terms for these so comment if I missed some.*

Summary: It’s Campbell and Y/n’s last day together before he goes traveling for a Radio DJ competition, unfortunately Y/n can’t come with and Campbell has become a little clingy

Warnings: Mentions of the suicide of a good friend of theirs, Spoilers for Takin' Over the Aslyum, Winter activities, Skating, Implied Short Reader, Implied Non-Scottish Reader; Mention of Past Toxic Relationship; Referenced but not mentioned relationship involving rape.

Note: I had the perfect gif for this when it was on Wattpad but I have a new laptop now and they took down my account and I can't find the gif. It was a gif of a couple kssing on the ice and then they slipped and both fell down.

(Post-Asylum; May be connected to "Sweet Jane" or read alone; If you decided to include this in Sweet Jane, this takes place between the ending of the series and the epilogue written by me.)

"I want your love to consume me like an oversized winter coat. Hands clasped around my waist like buttons done up properly."

Early March, 1995 (Early Eight months since the events of Takin’ Over the Asylum)

They had known for nearly two months that Campbell would be leaving but Y/n was on her way to get her A-Levels/GED since she had dropped out of secondary school/high school to go to the asylum but now it seemed that it had hit Campbell as he was even more clingy than normal.

"Campbell." She groaned as he hugged her from behind as she was trying to make Scottish Lentil soup for the two.

"But... baaaabe, I'm leaving tomorrow. I won't be able to see you in three weeks." He whined, burying his head into her back. "I won't be able to touch you. I won't be able to snuggle you as we sleep. I won't' be able to hear your voice."

"We can still talk on the phone." She protested.

"It's not the same! I won't be able to kiss your back." He whined.

He kissed her back before trailing to her shoulder as he pulled her sleeve up to reveal her shoulder and kissed it, "I won't be able to kiss your shoulder." He moved to her neck, "I won't be able to kiss your neck." He grasped her hips and turned her around and kissed her cheek, moving to her jaw and chin. "I won't be able to kiss your cheeks, your chin, your jaw." He pulled away to ease her to the counter beside the stove before pressing her against it as she couldn't help but smile and giggle. He kissed up her face to her forehead. "I won't be able to kiss your face." He tilted her head up and he kissed her lips. "I won't be able to kiss your lips."

"Cam... we..." He kept quieting her with kisses before moving to her neck, though it seemed he was taking in her scent as he kissed her neck. She had leaned her head back so he could have access with he happily obliged with open-mouthed kisses. "Campbell, it's five. I, uh, I had some plans for a date tonight. But we need to eat first."

"What kind of date? Dinner? Movie?" He hummed.

"No, that's why we're eating now." She said.

"Wait a minute, it's nearly twelve in the morning. What date takes place after midnight?"

"It'll be outside. You'll need to dress in warm clothing. But I need to finish the soup first." 

He gave her a smile with a deep emotion in his eyes, she couldn't quite detect, "What?"

"I just love you so bloody much." He said, earnestly.

--

Campbell and Y/n walked through Glasgow with her being all vague which kept Campbell frustrated and all pouty.

"Be patient, Cam."

"I'm not a patient person!" He almost yelled.

"Oh, I know." She said, playing with her satchel that she refused to show Campbell what it contained. "Just wait and see."

"Just wait and see!? Do you have any idea how irritating that is!?" He whined.

She eventually led him to a park, it was a rather snowy March, so the pond at the park was frozen, she took a pair of ice skates out of her satchel.

"You want to skate at one in the morning?" He laughed.

"Well, I'm a looney." She teased.

"Yes, you are." He grinned and kissed her, he cupped her face with both hands. "Yes, you are."

--

Ten minutes later, Y/n was teaching Campbell how to skate, though he was a bit clumsy but she kept him up by holding his hand.

At one point, she did an impressive spin, which made her hair spin around her head like a H/C halo as Campbell watched with a dropped jaw... drooling slightly.

"How'd you learn how to do this anyways?" He laughed, flailing his arms, trying to keep himself upright.

Y/n spun around and her smile faltered before turning bittersweet, "Uh, when I first arrived to Saint Jude's... Fergus took me." 

"Oh."

"He took me a few times, not even expecting me to talk. I picked this up quick and I even laughed. He considered that a victory." She said, sadly.

Campbell slid over to her and embraced her, which he originally intended to do but also to stop him from falling. "I miss him too." Campbell said in her ear, he pulled away.

She handed her hand out in front of her, offering it to him which he took and she skated with him, he... well, to say, he got the hang of it isn't right, but he wasn't completely fall-on-his-face-with-each-stroke terrible. 

At one point, she tripped and nearly fell but Campbell caught her through this threw him off balance and he fell with Y/n landing on top of him. 

They laughed at this and kissed, they decided they had had enough and put their shoes on that they had clipped to their belts and got up on the ice.

 Campbell brushed off some snow and then turned to his girlfriend who was looking at him with a sparkle in her eyes.

"What?" He laughed.

"I love you so bloody much too." She said.

He grinned... like a maniac... like a looney and he pulled her in by the waist for a slow, passionate kiss but slipped on the ice now wearing his normal shoes and he pulled Y/n closed which brought them both down with her, once again, landing on his chest.

"I just can't play it cool." He laughed.

"I don't know. Nineteen-year-old Radio DJ. Hyperactive, loud, energetic, passionate, enthuastic, charismatic, spontaneous, easy-going, creative, independent, brave, funny, sarcastic, sexy..." He clicked his tongue and winked at her.

"Mmm, do say more things you like about my personality." He hummed, playing with a short lock of hair of hers. 

"Impulsive, loud, hard to keep track off." She teased.

"Oh, you wound me." He groaned, dramatically.

"How about this? Sweet, loyal, handsome, romantic, hot..."

"Yeah. That's the ticket." He said, nodding, "But you forgot one thing. Totally, ridicouslously in love with you and definitely going to miss you for the next three weeks."

"Me too. You've been in my life for less than a year and already... I can't imagine my life without you. You're all the things I just said and more. You are the best guy I have ever dated though granted, given the last and only other one abused me for years on end and traumatized me into muteness, that wasn't a high bar." She looked down, averting eye contact with Campbell.

Campbell tucked the lock of her hair behind her ear, "He won't ever hurt you again, baby. Never ever."

She shivered a little and concerned appeared on his face, "Shite. Your nose is all red. You're freezing. Let's get ho... let's get you home." Once off the ice and pulled him back and he looked at her.

She stepped closer, raising herself on her tip-toes while weaving her hand through his hair on the back of his head and kissed him slowly when she pulled away, his eyes fluttered open and then shook his head.

“Sorry, you know, most girls, normal girls, always dream of having the perfect kiss with the perfect guy.” She said and then cringed, “Sorry, that was like the cheesiest thing ever.”

“Yeah, it was. So that’s super embarrassing for you.” He teased but then she sneezed. “Let’s get you home before I have to drop out of the DJ competition to take care of you. Come with me, Juliet. Follow your Romeo.” Then he immediately slipped and fell back down, face first in a pile of snow.

--

Campbell handed her a cup of freshly made hot chocolate with whipped cream after she got out of the shower when they got home.

"Oh, how thoughtful." Y/n said, cupping her boyfriend's cheek and stroking it with her thumb.

She took the mug and drank a big gulp, letting it warm her insides as she had already began to get cold from the shower.

Campbell grinned when he saw she had whipped cream on her nose, he leaned over and licked and kissed it off.

"Campbell!" She laughed.

"Mmm. Tastes only slightly more sweet than usual."

"The whipped cream?" She asked.

"No, you. Your taste. The taste of your skin." He teased.

"God, you're a dork." She drank some more hot chocolate and as soon as she swallowed he kissed her, allowing him to taste the hot chocolate on her lips and she giggled against his lips. "You're so weird, Bain."

"You are simply beautiful, L/n." He hummed.

--

Thirty minutes, later at like, two-thirty in the morning, they were both finally in bed.

"Promise me something?" She asked, laying on his chest.

"Hmm-mmm." He hummed, half-asleep.

"Campbell." She smacked his chest and he propped himself of his elbows to look at her, albeit, slightly sleep blurry-eyed.

"Hmm?" He asked but she didn't answer, he looked at her and saw her biting her lip, nervously. He sat up, wrapping his arms around his knees, "Babe, what is it?"

"Promise me you won't find some girl wherever this competition is going to to take you, someone who's willing to have sex with you..."

Campbell tilted her head up and kissed her before pulling back and looking her dead in the eye and saying, seriously, "One year ago, if someone were to ask me what my perfect dream girl would be, she wouldn't even come close to you." He kissed her gently again and then gave her a goofy smile, "That cheesy enough for you?"

"Yeah, and it was super embarrassing for you." She teased and he pulled her into his chest as they laid back down with him burying his face in the top of her head.

"I'm in this for the long run, Y/n. I promise. Your first time should've be special but it wasn't, I'm willing to wait until you're ready." He whispered. "God, I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too." She said and leaned up and kissed him.

He turned off the light and they drifted to sleep.

--

At the airport, the next afternoon, Eddie was saying goodbye to Francine while Campbell hugged Y/n, repeating how much he loved her and kissing her passionately.

"Call me? Every day. Even if it's the middle of the night for me." She requested.

He laughed, "You bet. I'll tell you about my day. Probably have to get another room from Eddie or else, I'll annoy him. You call me too. If you just want to talk, you call me. Even in the middle of the night."

"Babe, you'll be having a competition. I can't do that. You call me, I'll call you if you're awake. You call me every time you land and I'll look up the time zone differences and call you."

"I'll keep my mobile on me at all times."  He promised and kissed her.

"Campbell, we've got to go." Eddie said, irriatedly.

Campbell groaned, "Bye, babe. I love you." He said and pecked her lips before going with Eddie to board the plane.

“Wait!” Y/n shouted, running at him, he turned and felt her attack him with a hug. "Two years ago, when I was still talking, if you asked me to describe my perfect dream guy, he wouldn't even come close to you either." She said into his ear.

He chuckled, “You stole my line.”

“Campbell!” Eddie shouted.

“IN A MINUTE! I have to go. Love you.” He kissed her again and ran off with Eddie.

[ahalliance]

American-validated Frenchge 🥖

transcript below

[Video Transcript begins:

[Video starts mid-sentence]

Etoiles: —and you put this face— next to the camera! Like this!

Foolish: (laughing) You’re so French!

Etoiles: I’m so French, that’s my main problem. Like I’m so French, I try sometimes to nerf myself and be like, less French

Etoiles: But that feels good to hear this because you say I’m so French and like, some racist people in France think I’m not because I’m Arabic too, so—

Foolish: Ohhhh

Etoiles: —that feels good too, you know

Foolish: No dude, you seem like a French ass French person—

Etoiles: (laughing)

Foolish: I don’t know how else to put it. Simply put

Etoiles: That feels good, man. I was saying hello to Tarik and all his chat was saying like Frenchge, the emote they are putting—

Foolish: Oh yeah

Etoiles: —the emote they are putting. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Video Transcript ends.]

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[akkivee]

i was too keyed up yesterday from peak content so i slept like garbage and am a little too tired to stream today lol

but i offer you a transliteration of hitoya’s solo preview lol

[presiding]

you'll never guess which level we're up to in this dishonored 2 rewrite

[rist-ix]

https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭

Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[thecontainerstoreofficial]

im being so real with everyone theres a 50/50 chance i break up w my boyfriend as soon as i start working full-time lmao

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

genuine question but is there any fandom where a character is well written by the majority. im thinking about fandom culture and the spread of frustration when people dont write characters well but. honestly in all the fandoms ive been in there's only like, a Select number of authors who i trust to write Well, let alone write Well AND In Character. character analysis and writing and getting inside characters' heads are all separate skills (all of which are trained by roleplaying fyi can CONFIRM playing pretend with your friends is good for you). there's been more than once where I've disagreed with an interpretation that others agreed with, and then I turned out wrong. or i turned out right. like it doesnt matter WHO is right it just matters that differences in character analysis exist, so even if you DO write well AND write in character, your in character is still going to be someone else's out of character

there's this sort of. vibe. that to play in the sandbox you Need to be able to make a castle, and if you can't make a castle then you shouldn't bother, and it completely dismisses the idea that youre in that sandbox to PLAY in the first place. there's this Weight of disappointing someone if you can't build something that they like, but that forgets that you aren't there to build them a castle. like, be KIND. if you disagree with someone then please make an effort to do so kindly. i dont give a shit about fandom discourse but there is a reason kids get removed from sandboxes if they keep throwing sand in people's eyes. but if they don't like your misshapen sand pile, then youre not obligated to change it. even if you yourself end up hating that same sand pile later- youre not building a legacy. youre playing. and sometimes the result of that play is out of character drivel. theres a reason there are so many authors and so few who i like to consistently read and thats because everyone is Fucking Around in their hobby space. hash tag brag or whatever but i can build castles. ive built several that im v proud of. ive also dug holes in the sand for fun and then tripped on them when trying to get up. I often dug a hole and then got up and fucking- whoops, its a castle now, and i didn't realize i'd made something to be proud of until after the fact. the whole time while creating shit i was Convinced it was bullshit that didn't make sense. and then other times i was Convinced it was bullshit and then i was Right and i can look back and go. huh. ew. but it doesn't matter what the end result was, because i had fun playing in the sandbox

this wasn't meant to turn into a ramble but i have Feelings about bad art and art that's badly perceived and how public perception can screw with your head and how making art youre proud of is fucking. it's so difficult!!! it's hard!! it's really fun, which is why i try to make it, but i promise you it is Okay to not tryhard creativity. even if you CAN, it's okay not to do it all the time. or ever, even. fuck around find out have fun etc

[vastiitas]

the way j.b. maun.ey messes w dale bris.by is so fcking funny n lowkey, but it's also so very cole coded

[skunkes]

current thing i keep trying to convince myself of is that making one bad drawing does not mean that im bad at drawing. The big doodle pages have helped with that. They do kind of Harm when i go back and see i was making Better art x months ago but im also a believer of If You Can Draw It Once, You Can Draw It Again so it helps to have a bad doodle surrounded by art i didnt scrap (+ consider "good").

Also trying to just accept sometimes things are left in the past.... I do think if u draw something once u can draw it again but im trying to convince myself its ok if i can never get back the art style(s)/art style elements i had in the past.

In the same way we age and have to accept we look differently than we did when we were younger and That Was and Is Us, but we wont look like that ever again. <- This is a little hard bc i also have trouble accepting/dealing with this comparison example LOL

[infinitelyweary]

Louis Unreliable Narrator Rant

It rly does piss me off bc some ppl with 100 percent sincerity refer to Louis as “a liar”. I keep scrolling past a fanfic on ao3 that called him “the duke of deception” or some shit

What does Louis ever lie about???

(besides armand/rashid but a. obvs that was an armand decision since armand is The Canonical Liar even though ppl don’t always act like it for some reason, and b. that doesn't concern Louis's veracity in telling the story of his past cuz armand/rashid is in the present)

Anything Louis gets “wrong” about his story are details he’s suppressed due to trauma/misremembered/or interpreted differently from others ("lestat") due to his state of mind. None of these things are lying. Unreliable narrator does not mean LIAR bc thats not how stories work. MEMORY IS A MONSTER is the tagline of his story. MEMORY IS A MONSTER - You FORGET, it doesn't. Not "MEMORY MAKES YOU LIE ABOUT THINGS" or "LYING IS A MONSTER" or "LOUIS LIES A LOT AND LOVES IT BC HE'S A MONSTER"!

~Louis' more prominent discrepancies:~

-Was it raining: He doesn't remember. Not a lie

-Claudia's reaction after Lestat's "death": Louis is demonstrably traumatized by the attempt to kill Lestat and has repressed some of the aftermath of that night due to that trauma. He literally doesn't remember Claudia's objections/choking her. When Daniel points out that she sounds upset with him in her diaries, those memories come flooding back - as we see in little jarring bits of flashback. Those jarring flashbacks are Louis REMEMBERING WHAT HAPPENED. If Louis was purposefully "lying" those flashbacks wouldn't resurface in that way: the show is (very effectively) presenting that information in the same way you would be confronted with a traumatic memory. Louis is visibly rattled by this and has to run and kneel in his traumagarden to process this bc HE LITERALLY HASNT PROCESSED IT BC HES BEEN REPRESSING IT FOR 80 YEARS Not a lie

-Could Claudia dream or not: She wrote in her diary that she couldn't and he believed her. Not a lie

Then the trial flashbacks

(For the sake of argument I’ll assume "Lestat’s" versions of events we see flashbacks of in the trial are more accurate depictions than Louis’ original descriptions bc that is essentially the way they are framed and Louis tells Daniel to use that version in the book)

ALTHOUGH IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE: THESE ARE ALSO A PART OF LOUIS’ DESCRIPTION OF EVENTS!!!! Lestat is not present at the interview, Louis is. Lestat is not turning to the camera and breaking the fourth wall to tell us his version; Louis says that as Lestat spoke he felt transported back to those events and was seeing them differently. That's why we see them in flashback. We cannot have a true flashback from Lestat's perspective in s1-2 bc Lestat is not here to tell his story (and it would break the entire structure of the show). Any flashback we see is Louis' recounting. In the case of the trial, Louis is literally recounting Lestat recounting a version of events that Louis is then recalling and processing with added context (this show is a mindfuck).

So even the more “”TRUE”” version ppl like to use as evidence of Louis’s “”lies”” is also coming from Louis!!!!! Louis is the one correcting his own account!!!

The show is built around Louis telling Daniel/the audience his story. Anything we see of the past storyline (New Orleans-Paris) comes from Louis's mouth or Claudia's diaries (and sometimes Armand). Lestat is not a part of any of this. People who frame Lestat is some truth-teller revealing the "REAL story" behind Louis's "lies" is forgetting that Lestat is not part of the interview. Any ""truth"" Lestat tells is coming from LOUIS.

Some quotes from 207 bc I don't have a disc drive on my macbook to screenshot my blu-ray lol

This is our transition into the first nola flashback

<Armand: Lestat stood on that stage, took all the familiar pieces of Louis's life, defiled them, bent them into a Lestat-shaped effigy.>

(Including this to show that even though Armand is co-narrating this part of the story, Armand was ready to discount everything Lestat said. He frames Lestat as taking 'familiar pieces of Louis's life' aka the events as Louis recalls them, and 'defiling and bending them' aka changing/misrepresenting them to make Lestat look better. Any representation of "Lestat's perspective" being valid/"true" is coming from Louis's mouth)

<Louis: But some...Some of it now...

Daniel: What?

Louis: I remember...being out of my body at the time. I was in Paris, but also in New Orleans. Lestat took me there.>

The flashback is Louis remembering things differently, not Lestat's own memory.

-Claudia's turning: Louis's and "Lestat's" account actually don't differ that much. Lestat has a few extra lines of dialogue and is more emotional, Louis tries to turn Claudia himself and begs more profusely, but the basic events are the same. Louis brings Claudia in as she is dying, begs Lestat to turn her and Lestat does it. Louis was near hysterical in this moment so he didn't recall it with complete accuracy. Not a lie!

<Lestat: But he was in a terrible panic. Guilt had seized reason. Claudia on the ledge of death.>

...

<Louis (at the trial, to Claudia and the audience, looking visibly confused): It's not how it happened.

Louis (in Dubai): It is how it happened. I didn't think it at the time. But...yeah.>

As Louis realizes he misremembered events, he corrects himself. We see him do this several times over the series. We also see him insist he wants to get "every detail right" and "wants to remember". Where are people seeing a lying liar who delights in lies???? The whole purpose of the interview is "truth and reconciliation"?????????

-Coffin room exchange: This is one of the most traumatic events in the series/Louis's life so I think it goes without saying that he wouldn't be able to recall it with complete accuracy BUT ALSO!! We see the domestic abuse in 105 recounted from Claudia's perspective. We go from Louis narrating Claudia's diary entry about realizing she was made to be Louis's sister, to her returning home and the ensuing violence as it was witnessed through her eyes. She can hear snippets of an argument but was not privy to what happened in the coffin room. The only part of this that is from Louis's recollection is when Lestat takes Louis into the sky, and we return to Claudia's perspective after Louis is dropped.

The coffin room exchange was omitted in Louis's original telling because it isn't in Claudia's diary entry. If you think about it in-universe, Louis is reading Claudia's diary to Daniel describing the violence breaking out - then they go into the coffin room, Claudia is slumped on the floor outside the room trying to catch her breath, and then Lestat bursts through the wall with Louis - when Claudia watches Louis taken into the sky, Louis would naturally feel the need to fill the gap of 'what happened' before he plummeted to the ground, bc Claudia is certainly wondering what happened in her diary entry. It wouldn't necessarily make sense for Louis to interject over Claudia's entry (describing her feelings at hearing them through the wall, being convinced the violence was over and attempting to recover and then her fear at seeing violence break out again) to say "hey also me and Lestat exchanged words in the coffin room", there just isn't a natural narrative gap there like there would be for Louis/Lestat vanishing into the sky.

But I think more likely Louis doesn't remember the coffin room exchange BECAUSE we see a flashback of it in 207 and as I've established, these flashbacks are Louis remembering things. They are not a direct line to Lestat's memories, because Lestat is not in the interview to recount his own memories, and even a memory he recounts during the trial is being recalled by Louis in the Dubai present. Outside of Claudia's diaries, we only ever have access to Louis's memories of things (barring 205). There is a clear slant towards Lestat's POV in the coffin room memory, so I think it's safe to assume it's Louis recalling the memory as Lestat presents it during the trial. Part of why I think this is the basic framing, but also there are a couple lines of dialogue from Claudia's POV in 105 that we don't hear in 207 specifically when she is sitting outside the coffin room:

this part we hear in both POVs

<Louis: It's okay. We're done. It's over. Stay where you are, okay?>

this part we only hear in Claudia's POV

<Louis: We had it out*. We just...[coughing] need a moment here. [coughs] Just...[gasps]>

The second dialogue time-wise lines up with a moment in Lestat's 207 POV when Lestat is panting on the ground and sitting up for a few seconds and all we hear is silence before he says "You're gonna leave me." The show could have had Louis's second dialogue here muffled or in the background or something but it omits Louis's words entirely to show that this is Louis's recollection of Lestat's remembered version of events, and is not entirely "accurate" either. Why would Lestat focus on/acknowledge Louis comforting Claudia in this moment, when he is thinking about Louis leaving him? He wasn't thinking about that, and his POV reflects that. I don't think the show forgot these extra lines or something, cuz they have the script and easily could have inserted them in the space where Lestat is silent but they did not. A deliberate choice to show Lestat's account is not the omnipotent "truthful" account, but is just one perspective.

(We also know that the coffin room exchange was included in the trial script to make Louis less sympathetic to the audience, because when Lestat says "I am burdened with my maker's temper" Santiago corrects him back on course by saying "Uh, no. You were teased until you toppled." The coven wanted this exchange in the trial script to frame Lestat's drop as an escalation brought on by Louis aka to victim-blame him and make Lestat look less culpable. So even if this is "truth" it is being presented with bias)

Also it is interesting that we get no reaction shots/commentary from Dubai Louis during this entire part. We see Paris Louis once before the "You're gonna leave me" starts and he's shaking and looking confused as Lestat speaks, but there is no assertion on Louis's part of "this is how it happened" or not the way he did with Claudia's turning. We don't even get a shot of Dubai Louis again until after Lestat goes off script to take accountability for the violence.

It actually looks like Armand was the one narrating this entire part to Daniel (Lestat's account of the violence-the coffin room exchange-the apology) because the next time we cut back to Dubai, when Armand tells Daniel that the projections went off-sync, Daniel is already sitting facing Armand and Louis is sitting silently with his hands in front of his mouth. It looks like Dubai Louis hasn't spoken at all since he told Daniel to go with Lestat's version of Claudia's turning. He doesn't speak again until Daniel asks him what he thought of Lestat's apology.

I'm not totally sure what to make of Louis's silence here...because I don't think Lestat fabricated the coffin room exchange. I think because this comes on the heels of "You should go with Lestat's version" of the other flashback we see, this is another instance of Louis going oh, okay I guess it happened like that, you can put that in the book too. But it is a more significant departure from what we were previously shown than Claudia's turning, so idk why they don't have Louis comment on it at all. Either way, Louis doesn't object to what Lestat is saying, which is at least a passive acknowledgement of the events as he presents them as reflected upon by Louis after the fact so NOT A LIE!

Anyway Louis has basically never lied in his entire life so I'm gonna need ppl to stop calling him a liar :)))) it would also completely undercut the main fucking theme of the first two seasons for Louis to be characterized as a ~~~~liar~~~ vs. a person who is being Monstered by Memories so if you call Louis a liar you are calling Rolin Jones a liar and I'm gonna tattle on you to Sir Jones so he won't let you watch the show anymore <3

*netflix subtitles this as "we had enough" but that doesn't sound like what he's saying to me and the netflix subs match the AMC subs which are notoriously inaccurate so!

[watchyourdigits]

I am re-reading Night Letter and am realizing I didn't do nearly enough research into scar tissue as I should have 💀 I spent hours researching lavender marriages and U.S. Army dog tags from the 1950s (as well as ranks and dismissals and such) instead of researching one of the defining characteristics of the main character, aka his severe facial scarring.

Anyway here I am retconning his scars - they are hypertrophic NOT keloid. That is entirely on me because I didn't know what the fuck the term was for it and assumed that if they were raised then they HAD to be keloids. I'm so sorry for this. Like deeply.

For those who don't know the difference, I don't recommend looking up pics unless you're okay with seeing mild medical g*re. Brief description of the aforementioned scar types:

Keloid: raised, shiny, firm & rubbery in texture with no distinct pattern. Caused by an excess of collagen deposits during the healing process. These scars invasively extend PAST the area of the original wound and do not regress over time. Hard to treat. Can form over months to years after an injury. More common in black folks and other melanated people who have a family history of keloid scarring.

Hypertrophic: raised, but not to the degree of keloids, and can also be different colors and usually have a distinct wavy pattern due to collagen deposits. Also caused by an excess of collagen, but not to the extent of keloids. These scars do NOT extend past the area of the original wound, typically do not recur, and CAN regress over time. Typically appear within a month of two of an injury and do not continue to progress (typically begin to regress actually).

I'm attaching an image below the cut comparing the two.

Left is keloid, right is hypertrophic. You'll see the difference. It's easy to confuse them because they're similar in depiction, but this is a good visual example of exactly HOW they are different. Raised scars =/= keloids!!! Do NOT be a fool like me!!!!

[iamfuckingsorry]

I've slept for like maybe 4 hours a night on average since Wednesday last week and I am /so/ fucking over it. I got like 7 hours last night because I stupidly agreed to go on a trip and got home very late, but man that's not anywhere close to enough. I've spent the entire day tired af today, was /so/ tired and ready to fall asleep when I got home from work, but decided I was gonna wait till at least like 8 pm because I didn't wanna wake up at 2 in the morning unable to fall back asleep. Then it got to like 7 pm and my roomies all started hanging out in the kitchen, and the new guy has never heard of the term inside voice, and the washer was running and they were playing cards and it was. I spent two hours in bed with the lights off trying to fall asleep but I only managed to listen to a convo about how it's important to eat meat and protein and how bad carbs are for you (my new roomie is a gymbro)...

Now all my roomies are quiet but my upstairs neighbour it watching TV so loud I can hear every single word, and there's fireworks going off somewhere as fucking always, and I'm too upset to be able to fall asleep anyway. And I have to bite my fucking lip when crying to stop myself from making any sounds, because then everyone in this flat and every single one of my neighbours would hear me. And I can't even sleep in on weekends or anything, I literally get woken up by my flatmates being loud anyway.

And I dunno, I know I might just need to get over myself, but I'm just so fucking tired, and so fucking upset that I can't even choose /when I want to go to sleep in my own fucking home/, and I'll be stuck living like this for the next 6 months, and I know it's not /that/ bad, but also maybe it is that bad, and either way I don't wanna do it, but I fucking have to because I'm already paying some 65% of my current income for rent (with 4 flatmates! I honestly should have just paid a bit more for a tiny shitty studio) and I can't afford to break the lease. Like even if I move back home tomorrow I'm still stuck paying my fucking lease.

I know this is extremely minor compared to problems some of y'all are having, but man, I am *so* upset by this. Like I cannot spend 8 hours a day sitting in a loud af open space office, commuting 2-3 hours a day because the buses are so fucking unreliable, then come home and be surrounded by more noise and not even be able to do normal things when I want to. Like even getting 7-8h of sleep somewhat consistently is not /great/ for me, I'm a 9 hours a night kind of person, and this will absolutely ruin me if I have to do this for 6 months. And it's for a shitty fucking job that I thought sounded interesting but that's been extremely meh so far and doesn't even pay minimum wage because of some weird legal loophole.

Legit considering ways to get evicted.

[nbclover]

hehehe

[agnimybeloved]

i do wish death parade stuck with just the more intimate case-by-case story structure overall... the wider worldbuilding and narrative just doesn't hold up that well and i personally get impatient in the middle of the series 💔 i think going super vague with how arbiting works and adding more judgements would have made for a stronger series overall, with the overarching narrative just sticking to chiyuki's arc and maybe one or two other arbiter judgements like they did with ginti if they wanted to still make the world feel wider. though i really think making it smaller overall would have really been the move...